Christmas shopping can sometimes be one of the hardest things to do. Ever. Full stop. It’s the one time of the year, unless you unfortunately have lots of relatives birthdays clustered around one date, where you have to get multiple gifts. It can be hard to a) know what to get people, and b) afford that kind of thing. This is my guide and ideas-giving post on shopping for your male significant other (super hetero, I’m sorry!) and your parents. It boils down to this: know them well! Their interests, their favourite franchises, their hobbies. Things you might do or enjoy together. Things they might even need, and have mentioned before. It’s all here – enjoy!
It is the strangest thing, being with another after being with you for so long. Does it feel bad or wrong? No. Just different. (I do not seem to have a functioning conscience). His lips are firmer, with a metal ring to run your tongue along. The way he looks at me is different – he doesn’t love me, not like how I love you (how can I say this?) and how you love me (how can you do this anymore?) He may love me in an instant of pleasure, of gratification. Perhaps he may love things about me. He said I was slimmer than anyone he’d been with before. He tells me I’m cute, that I look good. You tell me I’m beautiful and I see it in the way your plain brown eyes come alive.
Now he is asleep and it is the afternoon, and I am uncomfortably writing in this dark, warm room that smells of light sweat and stale smoke. But I cannot hold this pen and I am tired, always tired, but that bed is not meant for two. I barely slept last night – even after the kisses had finished (though they began again in the morning; just as passionate as before, despite the bitterness of our tongues and the sobering pastel rays creeping across the sky). I fell asleep again and he watched videos on the internet and now I wonder if he instead watched me – did he glance over the way I just did to see him (one hand to his brow, the other folded across his chest, barely rising with his shallow breaths). You would have watched me sleep – and when, by chance, you sleep before I do, I marvel at the peacefulness in your closed eyelids, the softness of your veins and tendons, pushing against your skin. You are an angel. But I am sitting here, gold sun streaming through the gap in the curtain, and you are far away. A train ride through green hills and kangaroos and pretty lanes, thick with dust. Now you are in school, or perhaps it’s your lunchtime and you’re choosing not to eat because you hate spending money on food so you’re sitting alone on your phone in the park out the back – but now I’m not thinking of you. The black haired boy in my bed just rolled over, and breathed deeply. His hands are now behind his head, surrendered. And I am confused.
The first thing to probably say is that I’m not really a huge fan of Benefit on a whole, they tend to just remind me of an overpriced Soap & Glory or Dirty Works – probably because of the packaging. The prices have definitely put me off before, and the only product I have from them is High Beam (which I do like), which was a gift! Moonbeam came with it and was so useless that I sold it on Depop for £4.
Anyway! I’ve heard, and I’m sure we’ve all heard, a hell of a lot about Benefit’s They’re Real mascara, proudly promoted as selling one every 15 seconds. So is it really that amazing? At well over double the price a high street mascara, you’d hope so. I bought mine in duty free, because a) I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, and b) I had a quick look-see at the wand, and I found that to be pretty impressive and unique looking.
My true love gave me to me, well, a lamp! I desperately needed a lamp on my side of the bed and so tada! Early Christmas present.
Also: I got to open the first day of my Makeup Revolution advent calendar! So exciting! I got it when it was marked down to £25, and it contains a whopping £50 worth of makeup inside, including lipglosses, blushes and highlighters, nail polishes and a palette for Christmas Day.
So day one: a nail polish in classic red. Nail polish is the one product I haven’t tried from Makeup Revolution, but I’m so glad that I now have! I got the colour shown with only one coat, which is pretty unheard of, and it dried in under a minute. I was also quite happy as its world AIDs day, which is where you wear red, so it worked out really rather nicely.
Just a very short piece of writing from later 2012, written sitting in a tree in deep rural Australia. It’s all very nice.