The Eyeliner-Sharpie Equivalent

That almost sounds like a sciencey theorem.

As someone who suffers from ‘why isn’t my face symmetrical?’ and caffeine-shakes and various other make up inhibiting syndromes, the eyeliner pen seemed like a perfect invention.

AND IT IS! And it’s cheap and widely available.

I’ve been using (or attempting to use) the little Maybelline ‘Eyestudio’ pot and brush, and found it beyond nightmarish. And as I am in fact no longer 13, the thick and smudgy pencils just don’t work for me any more. So!

After massively, massively lusting after Alexa Chung’s Eyeko range, I told myself I had to get into it. See if I could actually apply the damn thing, if it would last, if I could pull it off (anyone call pull off a cats eye, c’mon), and if I’d recommend it.

All bought at Superdrug:

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– L’Oreal, Super Liner, blackbuster, £6.99
– Maybelline, Mastergraphic, £5.99
– Revlon: Colorstay, liquid eye pen, £6.99

and their tips:

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Before I get into details and pictures and the whole shabangabang, here is The Lowdown, in order of godawful-to-holyyyyy-shit-amazing:

The Revlon: “Colorstay” yeah, no, not really. Super thin tip and super thin eyeliner. Takes lots of layers to build a decent colour, but you can’t really do that because it doesn’t build, the tip wipes what you’ve got on there off. You have to let it dry a bit then get in there again. Time consuming, which kind of defeats the whole point. Plus the tip really is very thin, so if you do want to get a thick wing in, not going to be as easy as it could be. I literally didn’t even bother demonstrating using this, because I thought it was such a waste of my time. Excellent blogger behaviour right there.

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See what I mean? Thin and grey-ish.

The following two both work well! Providing you do using a fixing spray (none of these are waterproof) and/or don’t rub your eyes like a tired hamster, which I’m prone to do. Typically whilst audibly groaning in despair. I digress. Here you go:

The L’Oreal: At first I didn’t like this, then I did, and then it really did keep growing on me. A thick tip with a nice sharp point on the end means you can do a thick body with a sharp wing. And super easy to angle. The eyeliner flows easily, and colour is thick. I usually only have to do two layers: a base one, and then one that just fills in and tidies my lines. What I really enjoy using this one for though, is lining the very inside of my upper lid, where my eyelashes are. I find it really enhances the shape of my eyes (though, it does make them look a little smaller, unless you go above and beyond with the mascara).

The Maybelline: Initially I was reluctant to even buy this one. I saw the triangle tip, instantly thought of calligraphy pens, and was like “this cannot, cannot go well”. Wrong. So easy. Surprisingly, surprisingly easy. The sharpest and most daring wing point I have ever seen! It makes me look like I know what I’m doing with the damn thing, which is a welcome impression to give. Only takes one layer, and unlike any eyeliner before, I can one-shot it. No steps, just start at the wing and sweep down. It’s cake, it’s actually difficult to mess it up (!!), and it’s such a solid colour. Super powerful look.

Now, demonstrations and details: Continue reading

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Plane Thoughts

When you have a constant internal monologue, then stream of consciousness is perhaps the way to go. Sadly, not an easy way to relate information – especially not the kind I want to share.

I want to share visuals, tape what I see with my eyes and have my mind-chatter as an audio overlay, a commentary. I am thousands of feet above sea level, and I want to share that. The rollercoaster stomach drops with surprise! turbulence, the softness of Monument Valley in my ears as I scroll through the animated movies (Jungle Book or Tangled? I can’t decide), the way we flew parallel to a lightning storm right after take-off. The way we parted the clouds, and if I pressed my face to the window, hand cupped to black out the TV lights in the aisles behind me, I could see the milky way forming. Slow stars, bright white, at eye level. How could I not share that.

It scares me how I can’t seem to find the words anymore. How forced my writing is. “Write something pretty” isn’t easy anymore, it’s no longer natural. No poetry from me. To write you have to read, and I haven’t touched a book in too long. My mind enjoys leap frogging. I cannot immerse myself the way I used to, I can still buy in to a plot, a character, but it takes a constant vigilance to stay alert and to eat each word. It used to be so easy, I’d lose myself in pages, speed reading, desperate to know more, constantly needing more, and more. And now no. It’s an uphill battle.

Yet Another Platform

I’ve been hyping this up far, far too much. There is such fear in writing, whether it’s for myself or some safely anonymous audience. The constant comparison: every sentence is argued, and every line could be better. More concise, more eloquent, more fluid. The fear, and this time tinged with sadness, that I’ve lost my voice. God I used to have a voice. It was a fiery one, too. Ever bemused, slightly cynical, and very dry. I am at risk of impersonating myself.

A blog. A purposeless blog. No DIY can you even imagine?), no gluten free recipes. My guess at this point is that it’s going to be more complaining. Twitter is a fabulous platform for complaints, but who’s satisfied with 160 characters of it? No one. I could write complaint essays. I have written complaint essays, and they’ve been fabulous, soul-crushing creations. I used to want to be a critic. Non-specific. Music, food, movies, books. There’s something satisfying about listing your personal grievances, with or without exaggeration. I suppose it’s some form of bullying, break something down to feel that little bit better about yourself. I’m sure I’d rather talk about an album being offensive to my ears than actually give my reflection and own flaws the time of day. Though we all know they get plenty of screentime. Well. We don’t all know that. Joy of a clean slate. Hello, undiscovered social media platform. Awfully quiet here. I think I like it. Writing something for myself, not to get a reblog, retweet, even a like.

My life morphed along quite contentedly with social media, and then it skipped ahead – why don’t you eat this, so you can take a photo of it and chuck it on Instagram? I was paraphrasing present action into tumblr posts, mentally live tweeting my static thoughts. Do this, so you can proclaim that you’ve done it. And if you haven’t made some kind of post about it – did it even really happen. If I don’t photograph my cake, did I even eat it? Stomach says yes, but the absence of recognition says no. Constant seeking validation, some kind of approval. Some of us are sideliners, voyeurs, happily liking, happily watching other peoples mediocre existences. Nothing to say? Throwback to that time I was interesting! There’s competition, too. When we’re able to pick and choose what people see, why on earth would we share the boring, or the sad.  No, you don’t know about the divorce, but man did you see that gorgeous cat I came across on todays walk. I suppose that’s part of the intrigued, the satisfaction of a successful lie: everything is just fine. The selfie to announce “I’m still here!” or “I looked good today, you should see!” or “I think I looked okay, but I’m not sure, hopefully other people will confirm that I was in fact passable!” We steal sneak peeks at profiles that shouldn’t be on our radars. I wouldn’t want to see you in real life, but god knows I want to know what you ate for tea. “Stalk” has become casual language. Furtive glances at an ex’s Instagram (“please don’t look happy” – pretending that I am in fact happy), the girl who bullied you in middle school (“ah, still ill I see” – pretending that I am in fact no longer ill myself), the SO’s ex’s Instagram (“why would you do that to your hair?” – as mine falls out in chunks), and so on. Happily washing yourself into the background as you indulge in some good old bitching. Unbeknownst to anyone but yourself. Sad creatures that we are.

Says me on a damn blog.

– 12th September, drafted post.